Hii there, how long im not seeing uguys here haha (we are friend right even we do not really know each other, hiks)

How uolls been doing lately ? Is everything fine ? How about life ? Have you smile today or this week or this month ? No ? Okay lets do this, one, two, there ....... SMILEEE ! :) give me the big one there, owh yeah there you go. i love what i see right now haha. Thank you for smiling friends :)

Okayy... what me gonna write in this entry hmm let me see.... okayy start with  my internship life, everything is fine. Lil bit bored cause im stuck in this cubical again haha just have been transfer from Unit Latihan ke Unit Pentadbiran and in this unit i start doing filing AGAIN ! grrr sooo frustating you know. From 8am - 5pm just doing filing and sit inside the File Room. Even the room is so suitable for me to "curi tulang" but dude kalau dah tiap-tiap hari melepet dalam bilik fail tu naik jemu juga aku haha but me survive for 2 weeks now. So, I guess i can handle this thing haha.

Me and my baby giraffe start to take a next phase of our relationship which is .... what ? kahwin ? no !! (but insyaAllah if ada jodoh, aminn haha) we start to focus , i mean really focus on our current life right now (idk about him but me the one who start to take the new phase of our relationship overall lol haha) where he is actually doing 'things' right now. What it is , i don't wanna brag about it just know that he is half study and half working for his future right now. Lets pray together and i really hope he will be strong and well-being at there. :)

And me here right now, start to focus on my internship life. To be honest, me start to focus on my internship i mean really focus to end it soon, to complete all the things for my DVM qualification and also graduation. I just hope it will end soon and i want to take control my life overall and completely after this. it doesn't mean im gonna ditch my family or be far away from them for a long-long time haha. I just want to create and live a life that i will remember for my entire life. A not-really-wise-but-a-wise man told me to dreams a life i wanna live and i will be happy but if i start to control my dreams , i am already a loser. Even I am not really like him and my ego keep push him away far from me but that words tikam my hati banyak kali lah wei hahaha. ( i meant it) So,that is why i want to over all this thing as soon as possible.

I want to find my peneutralisasi pilu, i want to find my ownself, it is not easy babe, even me already 19 and a half years old , i still do not know who i am. the real me. inside here. i do not know. i used to know the lil baby girl that used to play and sing also smile inside this 19 years old body but i do not know where she is now. did she gone ? or already die ? i don't think so because sometimes that lil girl dancing inside me and make me smile till i hurt my cheeks but most of the time that lil girl just sit and scared. i do not know if that is because of my surrounding or because of me. but i really want that lil girl back. i just want she be there back like she used to be. i really want it. :(:

Pray for me okay ? Thank you, friends :)

I start to learn more and understand more about what is going on in my life, but i can't show it to uguys right now hehehe cause im not completely know what is going on haha but i know hahaha (#mabuk).

I really want to thanks everyone who help me when im start to losing myself and start to lost in my dark world. I really do not know what will happen to me if im not meet this beautiful people. My baby giraffe, my Mr. President, my ZilaSephora, my CuhailiCun, my weirdo Nasreen, my cutest Miraew, my Bambam Eqintototo, Janiey Jane and everyone who there when im doing the wrong choice in my life. i can't say any words more than thank you and me really grateful to have uolls ini my life. please be safe & stay inside my heart forever :) thank you <3 ( i really mean EVERYONE , who know me and who i know. Thank you :) )

thank you for reading my entry friends :)
i really hope to see you soon :)
be safe, keep smile and keep love what it ours :)
byee *wave both hands*
xoxo :*
8 love .